Yullen Week
by DarkPhoenix168
Summary: A collection of tales based on the themes of Yullen Week.
1. Halcyon

**Happy Yullen Week guys ^^**

**First time doing this since I actually have internet this week. I hope you guys like this!**

**The first theme is, as you can tell from the chapter, Halcyon. Hopefully I did an okay job...**

* * *

Dark clouds covered the sky, illuminating it to an almost soft grey, thick fat flakes falling slowly to the ground where they lay amongst their partners. The breeze that had brought in the snow had since vanished, the darkness tranquil and soothing, the snowflakes as calm as the atmosphere. The houses on the hillside were as quiet as the night, their occupants sleeping deeply in the warmth and comfort of their thick blankets and duvets, some seeking comfort in another's arms while others preferred to curl up on their own, content in their solitude.

One small stone cottage lay atop one hill, the sheet music sporadic and spread across desks, his piano, and even the floor, not one page touched out of fear it would be misplaced. His partner's work was the opposite, immaculate and organized, the invisible line apparently drawn in the study; a line that did not exist in their bed.

"Yuu…"

Hands glided over smooth skin as their clothes lay in a discarded heap at the foot of their bed. Feet slid over calves while lips tempted and teased the creamy neck as it descended the heaving chest and moved towards the sensitive buds.

"Hush Moyashi," the deep voice whispered in the dark, his long fingers sliding over the pale flesh.

"It's hard," the younger breathed, "feels good…"

"It is," the other teased, his knee rubbing against the erection, "quite hard-"

A closed fist playfully punched the strong arm, his lips in a teasing smirk before he gasped quietly.

Their brief period of idyllic peace were long since behind them, it was no more than a swift break between the constant arguing and fighting and their now chaotic lives. It was welcome then, when the elder had rolled over in their large bed to run his fingers down the slim sides, his lips finding the crook of the neck and managing to make his lover moan in pleasure.

"Kanda…"

Mismatched hands slid through the long locks that spilt around them, concealing the two of them from the world that would usually shun them simply for who they loved.

"You called me by name the first time, Allen," a deep whisper made the slim body shiver in anticipation, "do it again."

"Yuu…"

Fingers ran over the toned stomach while the lips kissed and sucked at the collarbone, the arms around his head pushing them closer together.

Their relationship had started with a bowl of tomato soup being spilt over the white shirt of the young long-haired Japanese man, his face contorted to anger as the white-haired younger profusely apologized for his mistake, an apology it was evident the other wasn't accepting.

After berating the younger for his stupidity, Allen finally snapped, screaming at the other to either accept his apology or shut up. Bristling at the comment, Kanda's hand pulled the younger by the collar of his shirt till their noses were almost touching, his eyes boring into the mercury.

Thankfully, Allen had survived their first encounter… only to run into the younger at his friend's party.

Fate seemed cruel as they bumped into each other repeatedly, often literally as they threw punches and words at each other with cruel intentions. Their friends would often sigh and tell the two to cut it out in their presence, the young men thinking the only thing the other felt for the other was hate.

Neither one considering the possibility that there could be anything more between them.

"_Hah… ah…_" Allen panted as the lips trailed lower down the pale body. "Yuu!"

His hand was over his mouth had he tried to stifle his cries, his hips moving within the strong hands around them, the head bobbing and tongue running over the length before dipping into the slit, the body arching as he tried not to scream. Fingers teased and squeezed at the sensitive flesh of his testicles and thighs, the touch making Allen writhe in pleasure, tears pricking at his eyes as he tried to restrain himself from disturbing the household.

It was Kanda who made the first move; after three years of fights, he was the one who asked Allen for a cup of coffee. Taken aback, the younger had managed to stammer out a yes, his cheeks flushing throughout the entirety of their "date". Miraculously, the two continued their budding relationship throughout their university years, even buying a house together for Allen's music and Kanda's writing.

"_Hah… mm_," Allen's body tensed as he neared, his nails scraping along the strong back while he tried to keep his moans restrained, "Kanda…"

A tongue ran over the erect member, the elder careful with the sensitive flesh in his mouth, the teasing nearly driving his young lover to madness. Though he understood Allen's silence, Kanda wanted desperately to hear the other scream in pleasure like he had on their first night together.

"G-Gonna… _ah_… _Yuu_…"

The soft whimpers drove the elder wild with lust, he wanting to have the younger in his arms writhing and moaning as the body twitched in delight.

Screaming through closed lips as he came, his hips desperately thrust into the warm cavern, his lungs shuddering as he pulled in air, his limbs trembling in ecstasy.

"We're not done yet," Kanda whispered as he advanced towards his lover, the legs curling around his.

"Can't keep quiet with you doing _that _to me," Allen panted, his eyes looking lovingly up at the elder, his fingers running through the silken locks once again.

"We'll see," the warm breath tickled the white locks as the elder licked the shell of the ear, his lover shuddering in delight. "_That _didn't take long."

Allen flushed as he felt his body grow hard under his touch after just releasing himself, the fingers running over the inner thighs while lips kissed at the already forming hickeys. Tilting his head for a better angle, the younger sighed softly in contentment as slick fingers, though when they became that way Allen neither knew nor cared, traced his entrance.

Grunting as his lover pushed his way into him, Allen tried to focus on the pleasure to come rather than the pain of the finger curling in his body.

"Moyashi…"

"It's alright," Allen mumbled, his own hands reaching to cup the strong cheeks, "I'm used to it… remember?"

Lips covered the younger's, Kanda continued to prepare the other for their long awaited night of passion.

"_AH_!"

Smirking at the surprised moan, Kanda managed to slip a second finger into the younger, his appendages scissoring as he searched for the spot that made his lover moan and see stars.

"Kanda…" the younger whimpered, "so close…"

His actions were contradictory to how he was their first night, the usually confident and strong-willed younger now reduced to an embarrassed and nervous young man. Their night had been filled with several apologies on his behalf while Kanda tried to retain his own composure though his nervousness was apparent. Miraculously, they had managed to get through the night without many disasters and the two of them had achieved their euphoria.

Since then they had become more confident in their sexual endeavours, Allen unrestrained as he would let his moans resonate throughout the room while Kanda's mouth became more skilled in the actions it took.

"Y-Yuu…"

Allen's hand was now firmly over his mouth as his body was filled by something large than a pair of fingers, his walls stretching to accommodate the girth that he had missed.

"M-Moyashi," Kanda released a groan as he was fully buried in his lover, the tightness something he sorely missed.

"Feel good?" Allen managed to tease, the smirk from the elder's lips making him laugh softly.

"That's my line isn't it?" the elder muttered.

The young man giggled before their lips pressed together, his body adjusting to the other pulling out before he pushed back in, the younger's lips squeezed tight as he grunted in displeasure.

"You alright?" Kanda asked, his voice strained in pleasure.

"Yeah," Allen whispered, "yeah Yuu… I-I'm-_AH_!"

A hand clamped over his mouth while the two froze in silence, both young men remaining still as they waited for something to disturb the peacefulness. After about a moment, Kanda sighed softly as Allen did, the two relaxing back into their rhythm.

It only took a few thrusts for Allen to arch into the other while he moaned in delight and tried to keep himself quiet amidst the pleasure. Kanda felt his own pleasure growing as he heard the restrained moans increase in volume every time he struck the spot that made the younger's vision and mind blank, Allen thinking of nothing but the man over top of him and the pleasure he was receiving.

"_Ah… hah… ung…" _nails ran down the muscled chest while the crown of white hair touched the pillow, the lithe body arching as drool fell from his chin.

"A little more," Kanda's husky voice whispered in the younger's ear, "you can make a little more noise."

"N-No…" Allen moaned, "he-he'll h… hear us… _ah… ah_…"

Allen felt embarrassed as he felt his body unable to have the stamina it used too; that four months of absence had reduced him to what he was like on their first night.

"That easy?" the elder murmured, his tongue running over the shell of the ear, the younger beneath him shuddering.

"Sh… shut up… _hah… nng_…"

"Should I take that as a yes?"

Kanda's answer was given as Allen released over the toned abdomen, his body arching like a taunt bow into the other, his hands, having wrapped around his lover's back, surely left marks in the other's pristine flesh. Shuddering in the aftermath of his climax, the younger moaned as he felt his body fill with his lover, their chests pressed tightly together as they panted deeply.

"Moyashi," the elder murmured after a minute of the room filled with nothing but their panting, "can you let go?"

"No," Allen whispered, his hands pressing at the shoulders, "been too long…"

The elder said nothing as her conceded, his body laying down beside his younger, his nose buried in the crook of his neck as he inhaled the scent of sex and sweat deeply, the silence comforting and peaceful.

Until the inevitable occurred.

"Thought that was you," Kanda teased quietly at the mention of the loud wail, Allen glowering up at him while he sighed deeply, the elder shuffling above him.

"Kanda?"

"I'm getting the baby," he explained, his hand on the other's leg, "I'll be right back."

"But it's my turn," Allen protested weakly, Kanda pulling up his jogging pants over his hips.

"You're not doing too much about it," Kanda grinned as he ducked to the bathroom for a minute before he disappeared around the corner, Allen smiling softly at where his lover had been.

Their relationship had only strengthened throughout their university years, and their living together in the house, while peaceful, seemed incomplete. At the age of twenty-five and twenty-seven, Allen finally brought up the idea that he wanted a baby.

After the row they had preceding Kanda's laugh, the two snapped at each other vehemently. Kanda pointed out that their days were peaceful and fine as they were and that if Allen wanted something to care for, he'd get him a cat.

How Allen had convinced his lover to adopt the younger still wasn't fully aware of.

When they had first brought the baby home, Kanda had almost shied away from the child, only taking it to feed and hold him after Allen's encouragement. Little by little, the elder's dedication to their child increased, him eventually caring for him equally as much as Allen did.

"Shh…"

Silver eyes flickered up to the room as the cries simultaneously quieted and increased, Kanda entered the door with their moving baby.

"How is he?"

"He just woke up and wanted to see us," Kanda whispered quietly, his body coming to relax and lounge on the bed.

"Really?" the younger looked down at their infant, his fingers touching the small hand.

"If you hold him, I'll go get him his bottle…"

"Gimme a minute."

Kanda was careful as he passed their baby to the young man who had slipped on his underwear and shirt. Smiling slightly at the sight of the infant curled into the arms, the elder managed to move out of the room and filled the bottle with baby formula.

He was quick to return to feed the child, Allen almost reluctantly passing him the baby for midnight feeding.

"He's still so tiny," Allen commented, his lips kissing the back of the hand wrapped around his finger, "eh? Yeah, you're just so tiny."

"He's three months premature. Technically, he's one month old," Kanda commented, his arms rubbing the baby as he drank deeply.

"Careful!" the younger grinned, "you might shake him and make him throw up!"

"I know what I'm doing," Kanda murmured, his lips lowering to kiss the blonde crown of their baby, "besides, the sheets need a wash anyway."

"Haven't had sex in four months and _that's _what you say!?" Allen couldn't help but giggle, his body lying on his stomach as his arms crossed in front of him on his pillow, "I forgot how romantic you are."

"Only for you," the elder told him as he ran his fingers through the fine blonde strands of his baby, Allen's thumb rubbing the pudgy arm.

"Do you miss it?" the younger dared to ask, "the peace and quiet?"

"Terribly," Kanda admitted, "I haven't gotten a good night sleep in what feels like forever…"

Allen smiled as he kissed his baby's cheek. True, their days would never again be peaceful, calm or tranquil, but they would always be joyful.

"I guess we can kiss our Halcyon day's goodbye," Kanda voiced their thoughts.

"We'll barely get a moment's peace, our finances will probably get eaten up," his cheek pressed against the pillow, "but I don't think I'll ever be happier."

"Good," the elder pulled a rare smile, "cause I agree."

* * *

**So... yeah. Don't wig out, all the other stories don't have babies... and I hope I got the idea fairly close**

**So? Reviews?**


	2. Partners

**Next installment. Not one of my better ones, but I've got some better ones on the way, I promise.**

**Theme: Partners**

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"AND! One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three-"

White hair hung as the body sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging in boredom.

"ALLEN!"

His heart nearly stopped as the silver eyes looked up to the dance instructor, his fingers running through his bangs, the only part of his hair that wasn't tied back.

"Stupid Cross…"

Thankful that his muttering went unnoticed, Allen leaned back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the young woman that his elder was trying to get with instruct the class on how to waltz properly. Though the younger was forced to attend the next class, he had to admit; the seven-year-olds awkwardly hold each other as they tried to dance.

"No slouching!"

Allen groaned as he straightened up. Even though he was not on the dance floor, the woman demanded everyone keep their head straight and high.

"NOW! One-two-three, one-two-three-"

Since he had come to Cross' care, Allen had, on occasion, when he wasn't gambling the elder's way out of debt, been used in an attempt to get women, though less frequently than when he was a nine-year-old.

In truth, he didn't mind being in a class taught by the young woman and attended by more men than women, most likely due to the instructor's appearance. He felt he'd rather be here than at the coffee shop trying desperately to explain to the blushing furiously at the presence of the tall Japanese young man that had potentially overheard his admission of his affectionate thoughts towards the bitter elder.

They had known each other since Allen was fifteen and Kanda was three years older, since then, after their three years together, the younger had found his attraction growing stronger each passing day they were together.

"Oh well," the young man sighed, "it's not like I've got a chance…"

Silver eyes flickered from the bobbing kids to the sunny day outside, the passer-byers keeping their heads bowed against the cold wind, wind wiping around their hair. Shades of blondes, browns, and reds flashed in the sun, but it was the particular shade of black in the high ponytail that caught his eye.

"Oh no," he whispered, "no no no no no!"

He hadn't told anyone he was attending what was hopefully a few classes for two weeks at the most, let alone the young man that was currently walking through the door.

"Just take a seat over there!"

His worst fears realized, the younger looked up at the other who hadn't even seen him yet.

"Kanda!?" Allen exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock at the sight of the elder.

"Moyashi!?" Kanda seemed just as taken aback, "what the hell are you doing here!?"

"That was my question," the younger informed him, "I'm here because Cross wants to get with the dance instructor. You?"

"I lost a bet," the other grumbled bitterly, his eyes narrowing at the stifled giggle Allen restrained. "Shut up."

"Well at least you're honourable," Allen muttered as he held in his laughter.

"Bite me," Kanda snapped, "I'm only here once."

"Do you want me to take a picture to prove you did it?"

The cobalt eyes would have reduced any lesser person to cinders and, had Allen not been trying not to burst into laughter.

"That camera will end up somewhere where you don't want it," Kanda threatened quietly, the presence of the children making him lower his voice.

"All right! Next class!"

Before Allen could respond, the instructor called them over, the pair standing in proximity to each other though deliberately avoiding it while the young woman paired them off.

"You and you, you and you, and… you two!"

_Of course_.

Both the young men groaned loudly at who they were matched with, the teacher turning her head to them.

"Problem?"

"This isn't going to work," Allen grumbled, pointing to Kanda.

"Too bad," she shrugged, "you two seem to know each other, it's a good start."

Sighing at his predicament, Kanda listened to the instructions with an even sourer look on his face, his arms over his chest before they needed to be unfurled and take Allen's.

"Right," the woman started as she moved through the pairs, "now… oh get _closer_ you two!"

Her hands shoving them together, Allen felt his cheeks grow red at their proximity, his own chest pressed against the define one, his nose near the strong neck, every inhale filling his senses with the musky scent that was Kanda.

"Okay!" her hands clapped together as she approached the CD player, "now, move _with _your partner. AND-"

Allen sighed as he stepped with his partner, his feet agile enough to avoid being stepped on and Kanda's honed from years of kendo, though it was odd to see the stronger young man move to the smooth violin.

"OKAY!" she clapped her hands once more, "LET'S TRY IT AGAIN! AND-"

The carefully guarded secret of how Allen felt for the elder was kept so, as long as Kanda hadn't overheard his confession as he passed by Lavi and Allen having their morning coffee.

Or, so he thought.

"_Ah_!"

Both of them stopped as the sound escaped his lips, the knee that had rubbed surprisingly close to his most sensitive area now away and straight as Kanda stared down at Allen.

The young man swallowed thickly, knowing that there was no way Kanda didn't hear the voice escape his lips and that it couldn't be considered as anything but a cross between a moan and a whimper.

"M-Moyashi-"

"Why'd you stop?!"

White and black hair turned to look at the dance teacher, her hands on her hips and her lips pursed.

After their chastisement, which was unfortunately very long and very public, the class continued for the designated hour, and the secret was kept quiet.

Until they were alone in the locker room.

"What was that?"

The younger froze at the words, his face flushing anew as he tried to focus on his locker, hoping that Kanda would believe that he found the graffiti stimulating.

"What… what do you mean?" Allen stammered.

"Don't play dumb," Kanda snapped, "what was that _sound _you made?"

"You… you stepped on my foot," the younger fibbed pathetically, "and… it-it surprised me."

"Bullshit-"

"Watch your language!" Allen corrected, "there could be kids here!"

"We're the only ones in here, dumbass!"

"Okay… well _I _don't like being cussed at!" the silver eyes narrowed.

"_Fine_! I'll clean it up for your tender sensibilities," Kanda mocked, "that's a lie. I didn't step on your foot. So, I'll ask again. _Why did you make that sound_?"

"Who says I did?"

"_You _did, just now!"

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Did not!"

"Did-I am not playing this game!" Kanda snapped, "now give me the straight answer!"

"Or what!?" Allen dared.

"Or you're not leaving this locker room."

The young man snorted at the other's defiance, his arms crossed over his chest. Though Kanda was a stubborn man, he doubted Kanda was willing to stay all night to get one answer.

"Right," the other nodded, "I'll take that bet! And just _how _do you intend to keep me here?"

"Easy," Kanda smirked as he approached the younger, Allen feeling a shiver run down his spine as he took a step back in fear, "I'll just bend you in half and shove you in a locker."

"Ha ha," Allen laughed weakly, "good luck!"

* * *

"KANDA!"

As angry as Allen was when he slammed his fist into the locker door, he had to admit he was impressed at the speed at which Kanda had followed through on his threat, his strong arms struggling with the younger only to trip him into a locker and locked it behind him. Now, having turned himself around, Allen was banging desperately on the door to be let out.

"Let me out!" Allen found himself whining, his feet now kicking at the metal.

"You remember what I told you," Kanda snapped, "give me the truth and I'll let you out."

"Why does it matter!" the younger retorted, "it was a _sound_! It's not like it's a big deal!"

"Then tell me the reason!"

Allen sighed deeply, his crown of white hair banging on the metal while his forehead touched the locker.

"Kanda," the younger tried anew, "please… just let me out!"

"You have ten seconds to tell me the truth, and I will."

The young man groaned, the small sliver of light the only comfort he had.

"Ten… nine… eight-"

"Just let me out!"

"Well then," the footsteps seemed to fade away, "have a goodnight…"

"Kanda, come on! This joke's gone too far-"

Allen squeaked in fear as the light shut off and the door swung shut, his heart beginning to hammer wildly in his chest.

He held no objections to tight spaces. Provided there was light present.

"KANDA!" the younger now screamed, his fists now pounding madly on the door, "KANDA THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

He felt pathetic as tears began to fall from his eyes. Trapped in a confined space in the dark was the most terrifying thing to him, his eyes unable to decipher anything in his space.

"KANDA!" Allen sniffled quietly, "KANDA _PLEASE_!"

The realization that the elder truly _had _left him in the dark sunk in quickly, and his fear intensified, his shoulders shaking as he tried not to sob openly.

"Kanda…" the young man whimpered, "… please…" he sniffled, his breath shuddering as he inhaled deeply, "look… it was just a moan okay? That's all it was!"

"See? Was that so hard?"

Allen managed to move enough in the cramped locker to wipe away his tears, the voice much closer than he had anticipated.

"F-Fine! Now let me out!"

"Geez! Stop crying," Kanda snapped as he apparently fiddled with the lock, "there-"

The self-satisfied smirk on Kanda's lips fell the minute the door was opened and his eyes fell on the younger's tearstained face, his embarrassment easy to read on the face, his sleeves trying to wipe away the tears.

"M-Moyashi…"

"Piss off!" Allen snapped, his dramatic exit foiled by his foot catching on the bottom of the locker and tumbling into the other's arms.

"Moyashi!"

"I said PISS OFF!" the younger roared, his body pushing away from Kanda only to collapse onto a wooden bench, his head in his hands as he tried to calm himself.

"Moyashi…"

"Go away," Allen sniffled, "you've managed to _humiliate _me! Are you happy!?"

"I didn't think you were actually _crying!?"_ Kanda defended, "I thought it was just a ploy to get me to open it!"

"Well it _wasn't_!" the younger snapped, his silver eyes glaring at the other taking a seat beside him.

"Wh-Why-"

"I _hate _being stuck in a tight space with no lights and no one around!" Allen retorted, "it scares me _alright_!?"

"_Okay_," Kanda defended his hands held up before the younger removed his tears with his knuckles. "Moyashi…"

"_WHAT_!?"

Silver eyes widened as arms pulled him into the strong chest, his head back on the shoulder though this time by the elder's choice.

"I'm… I'm sorry," the other admitted quietly, "I didn't mean to take it that far…"

"Still did," Allen mumbled bitterly.

"I didn't think you'd start crying!" Kanda defended, his sudden anger vanishing with a sigh almost as quickly as it appeared. "I'm sorry okay…"

"Mmm…"

"But if you tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it."

"Figures," the younger sighed, "the _one _nice thing you say to me, _after _that, and I can't even tell others."

"You were going to in the first place?" Kanda smirked, "I mean, aside from gossiping to Lavi like you two are old ladies."

"We do _not _gossip!" Allen snapped, his body straightening to look him in the eye, "and what's _wrong _with two friends talking about stuff?"

"When it involves who you do and do not have a crush on, it's gossip."

The young man froze at the words, his eyes flickering to look at the impassive Kanda, the two having since parted and were now lounging on the bench.

"Wh… wha…"

"You're deluding yourself if you think I didn't hear that," Kanda murmured, "hell, half the world could hear Lavi laugh."

"O… Oh," Allen swallowed thickly, "yeah… should've seen that coming…"

"Well now that you _didn't_," Kanda snapped, "what are you going to do about it?"

"You mean, _aside_ from avoiding you at every opportunity and ducking away from your punches when you scream at me for being too clingy or disgusting or… whatever…"

"Or you could own up to it-"

"Yeah! Right," Allen laughed, "contrary to _your_ opinion, I am not stupid enough to believe that _you _like _me_-"

His words died slightly as Kanda seemed not to be himself and snap in response, his eyes deliberately avoiding the other's.

"Oh," the younger mumbled, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment, his own eyes avoiding the other's, the situation becoming incredibly uncomfortable.

"So… what's going to happen… with us…?"

"Dunno," Kanda admitted, "we could dance around it-"

"I was your dance partner," Allen snorted, "you _suck _at it!"

"At least I tried!" the elder retorted, "what about you!? You weren't any better than a rag doll!"

"She told _you _to lead!" the other snapped, "that was _only _way it was happening!"

"What!? You-" Kanda held his hand up, "look, either you and I avoid this like the plague and it just gets worse-"

"Or what!?" the younger's eyes narrowed, "we sit and share our feelings like the gossipy women you already think I am?"

"Yes or no!?"

"FINE!"

Both young men huffed, their arms crossed over their chests as they turned away from one another.

"If you come over to my place, I'll make us some tea," Allen finally broke the silence, "or… coffee…"

"Tea will do," Kanda shrugged as he stood, his hand extended out to the younger, "come on."

"Thanks," the younger smirked, "partner."

* * *

**Ahem... So... how bad? Reviews please ^^**


	3. AbnegateAccismus

**Next update ^^**

**This one is actually a substitute for Adamantine (harder than diamond).**** Abnegate (****To deny oneself, often of pleasures and desires of their heart) /Accismus (Feigning disinterest in something while actually desiring it) is an alternate theme. I liked it better.**

* * *

"JACK-ASS!"

Heads turned towards the vocalized explicative, the young man behind the cloth walls that concealed the house Mistress and her clients.

"Could you not scream so loudly?" she calmly asked him, "this is where my girls meet their clients, it is a _peaceful _atmosphere!"

"Sorry, but he's just-"

"A jackass, a jerk, an asshole, arrogant son of a bitch," she smiled as she poured the tea, "yes I believe you've mentioned it once or twice."

"Well he _is_," the young man emphasized, "I swear Janna-"

"Oh, I've heard it Allen."

"But he's _so_ frustrating!" he lay back on the soft pillows, "it's like, when I screw up it's my fault and when I do well, all of a sudden it's because someone _else _has helped me!"

"This wasn't the case though…"

"Well _no_!" Allen's eyes narrowed as he sat up, "I mean… he despises my every cell, calls me cursed and short and pathetic and weak and-and," he swallowed thickly, "it's just so frustrating…"

"Why won't you just stop denying it," Janna smiled at him, Allen's face pulling into a greater pout.

"There's nothing to deny," he muttered bitterly, his fist in his cheek as he looked around aimlessly.

Janna looked over the young exorcist as he sat on her cushions, his legs crossed over one another as he sipped his tea. After being informed that he was on the run from the Order, she had of course opened her arms to him, offering him a place to stay should the need arise.

Now, that the former exorcist Kanda Yuu and scientist Johnny had found him, he was traveling with them and staying with them in whatever hotel rooms they could afford; save for tonight.

From her few observations, it had become apparent that Allen's feelings had grown since the meeting that had resulted in the katana pointed to his eye, and developed into something that could be considered as longing and love, cemented in their encounter with Alma Karma.

"Allen," she murmured softly, "you know, if you admit your feelings-"

"The only feelings I've got for him are ones of loathing!" Allen spat, "just like he's got for me…"

"Is that longing I hear?"

"No, what you hear is loathing," the young man retorted, "why would I bother having feeling for someone that hates me?"

"Uh-huh," her eyebrows rose in scepticism, "more tea?"

"No thanks," Allen shook his head, "it'll keep me up at night…"

"Speaking of which," she gestured to the area, "when are you going home?"

"Why?" the young man grinned, "want me out already?"

"I just want to conduct my affairs _without_ someone watching," Janna grinned while he laughed, "now if you _don't _want to go back, and to be fair, I wouldn't blame you, you can always take a room here and don't worry," she held up her hand, "it'll be off limits."

"In that case, I just might take you up on that…"

"Good, now leave," the woman smiled, "I have a new client meeting me in five minutes and if you don't want to be hit on again-"

"_Ug_! No thank you!" the younger shuddered at the memories of the other nights where men assumed he was fair game and promptly gripped his ass.

"Then might I suggest taking the room up the stairs? Second on the right."

"Thanks Janna!" Allen called over his shoulder as he slipped through the door to the stairs.

He wasn't lying when he told Janna he hated Kanda; the elder exorcist doing nothing but looking down on him and screaming and fighting him.

And yet…

Consistently Allen tried to earn his approval, he was relentless as he tried to find topics of conversation they both enjoyed and he even found himself to want Kanda to like being near him as much as he liked being near the brooding elder.

"I don't like him," the young man muttered bitterly to himself, "I don't like him… he-he hates me like I hate him! I don't feel _anything_-"

Sighing softly at the words he was trying to believe in, the young man opened the door Janna had designated as his own, his eyes widening at the plush and large bed, everything neatened and straightened. The room was sparse, and only held a couch, two end tables with lamps, and the luxurious bed. No windows let moonlight in and the walls were a dark navy, a fitting contrast to the royal red coverings over the white bed sheets.

His nose wrinkled at the smell, wondering if one of the clients had managed to break the no drugs rule and Janna hadn't caught him until he lit up. Shrugging, the young man began stripping himself of his garments, his pants and underwear pulled off his now weary body.

Allen sighed deeply as he fell onto the pillow, his shirt still hanging to his form though he was too tired to care. The lids over his silver eyes drooped dangerously as he wondered just what had caused his sudden fatigue.

Without even bothering to pull the covers over his body, the silver eyes fluttered shut and he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Silver eyes opened blearily to the darkened room, his head turning as he saw none of the room's furniture or light.

"Hello?"

His voice was surprisingly soft as he tried to lift his body up off the darkened surface he was laying on, the strength in his arms seemingly non-existent. Looking around, Allen heard rather than saw feet approaching his body.

"Hello?!"

Worry entered him as the intruder didn't identify themselves, his body too weak to move away or even turn over to face him. Heart hammering, Allen waited as the feet suddenly stopped, the presence of the other right beside him. Shuffling clothes adjusted as the person kneeled beside him, still saying nothing to the petrified exorcist.

Then the hands fell on his now naked form.

Allen's breath shuddered in him as the fingers trailed down his pale back, his body shivering from where the tips met his skin, the hands beginning to press and massage at his back and slip around his body, the fingers brushing over the more sensitive areas of his body.

Resistance slipped easily between his fingers, the part of his mind telling him how wrong it was vanishing in blissful white as he began to revel in the pleasure, his first few thoughts shooed away by his form wanting more. His body felt as though it was on fire, a multitude of hands rubbing and touching his tender body. Allen's form twitched and moved as he felt fingers run over his sensitive flesh, his body melting into the touch.

"_Ah… hah…Ah…_"

The young man moaned keenly, his body arching and thrashing as he whimpered in pleasure, his toes and fingers curling in ecstasy.

He had no idea who was touching him or what they were doing to his body.

And he didn't care.

"_K-Kanda…"_

* * *

"Welcome!"

The tall form leaning against the side of the building turned to face the woman who had answered the door for him, his cobalt eyes narrowed for distain at the nature of the business, as the location was more of an upscale neighbourhood.

"You called me to pick up Moyashi?" Kanda asked, his eyebrows raised in curiosity while the woman led him through the brothel.

"I take it you mean Allen," the young woman laughed, "I'm afraid he was more exhausted than he thought," she smiled kindly, "so he needs to be taken back I'm afraid."

"Why can't he stay here?"

"The room might be needed," Janna pointed out, "if you go up the stairs, it's the second one on the right."

"You're not coming?"

"My dear boy I've got a business to run!" she seemed offended, "now hurry on up!"

The young man sighed as he ascended the stairs, hoping that he wouldn't run into some drunken man or saucy woman as he made his way towards the other exorcist that undoubtedly hated him.

He was usually so careful controlling his impulses around the younger, Allen thinking that he did nothing more than despise him.

Which was true when they first met.

The cursed happy-go-lucky young exorcist had done nothing but drive him insane; their constant fighting and screaming as real as their hate for each other. Hate had then turned to passion, and then passion turned to love.

Especially for Kanda.

His head hung as he sighed. Allen despised him, and made it plainly so. Not wanting to appear weak in front of the younger whom he had grown to care for greater than he did for Alma, he too made it seem as though he still hated the younger. His months journeying alone had resulted in much time alone for deep thought, thoughts of Allen's smiling face and determined nature.

"Moyashi?" Kanda muttered as he knocked on the door, wanting to go back to the Order and have none of the Noah or Alma. Swallowing his pride, he pushed open the door, "Oi, Moyashi…"

Kanda felt his eyes widen at the sight thrashing about on the bed, the pale lips open as drool slipped down the chin. Allen gasped for air as his body shivered, his legs closed together as tightly as he could, his hand attempting to cover what was surely a straining erection. Toes strained at the bed sheets as his free hand gripped at the only material covering his sweating flesh.

"K-Kanda…"

Cobalt eyes widened at the moan that passed Allen's lips, the creamy throat exposed as his head tilted backwards, the crown of white hair touching the mattress.

Unable to say a word, Kanda moved slowly towards the young man, the lithe form twitching and moaning relentlessly, nothing but strangled gasps passing through the parted lips.

"_Ah… hah… nng…_"

Allen managed to turn his shivering body over, his cheek now in the pillow, his hips shuffling on the mattress as the hand once gripping his shirt now extended to clutch the sheets, drool slipping from his mouth to his chin.

"M… Moyashi…"

Finally finding his voice, Kanda dared to extend his hand to touch the white locks, his thumb rubbing over the pale skin only to have the silver eyes flutter open.

"K-Kanda?"

His words coming out as a whimper, his hand extending to reach for the other, his fingers trembling with whatever was happening to his body.

"Kanda…"

"Wh-What's with you?" the elder asked, his throat swallowing as he looked over the tormented body.

"I-I don't-_nyaa-hah_… I-I don't know," he panted, "just… just want… _ah-hah_-"

"What?""

"Ju… Just want… y-you…"

Kanda was thankful that he was supporting himself on the mattress otherwise he was concerned that his knees could've given out at the wanton tone and the words spoken in it.

"Wh… What-"

"Want you…" Allen repeated, his hand gripping at the exorcist coat of the elder, his legs tightening further, "_Yuu_…"

The young man that would normally punch the other for using his first name stood in shock as his eyes widened at what the younger was saying.

"Moyashi…" Kanda swallowed thickly, "get… get a hold of yourself-"

"Can't," the younger twitched, "d-don't know what… what's happening," he gasped for air, "Kanda…"

"Calm down-"

"Please," Allen's breath was against the other's neck, "please Kanda… _n-need_ you…"

"Listen to yourself," Kanda tried to reason, though the words were sounding more and more appealing to him, "Moyashi!"

"Kanda-"

"This isn't you-"

"But I'm not-_ah -lying_-" his hand was busy being pried away from the collar of the other's shirt, "Kanda…"

"Moyashi-"

"For God's sake Kanda!" Allen screamed, "_this_… I don't know what happened," his silver eyes searched the other's, "but I need you… _please_!"

The silence was deafening as the younger moaned, his eyes closing as yet another wave of pleasure washed over his body, the strain on his form maddening.

"For how long?"

Peeking out at the other, Allen panted deeply, the elder having stood straight, his arms over his chest.

"_Th-This- hah_- since I f-fell asleep-"

"Not _this_-"

"I don't know," Allen whimpered, "I-I just… y-you…" he swallowed thickly, "I f-feel… _good_ wh-when I'm with you… n-not… not like _this_ b-but-"

His words were silenced by a pair of firm lips atop of his, the thoughts that were mixed and jumbled vanishing as he melted to the kiss. Moulding to the pair of firm lips, Allen open his mouth and he silently begged for what Kanda answered, the tongue sliding between his teeth to touch and taste him, the feeling making his heightened sensitive body twitch and moan.

"Kanda…"

The elder was swift, his hands pulling off the shirt clinging to the pale form, along with his own jacket, both garments tossed to where they both didn't care. Allen moaned as the lips suckled and kissed from his lips, the tongue capturing the saliva to move down to the creamy throat and collar bone, the dark marks left in their wake.

Unsure and uncaring as to why the elder young man had suddenly decided to tempt and treat his body, Allen felt his torso arch into the teeth scrapping over his erect nipples, his head tilted to cry out in pleasure.

"_Ah… ah… nngnaa…"_

Hands moved like they did in his dream, touching and sliding over the pale body, up his sides and over his thigh only to have the other slip over the arm and under his knee.

Arms hugging the strong back gripped the white shirt Kanda wore, surprised that his body wasn't tearing the fabric from the muscled form. As if to answer, the elder pulled his shirt off his body, his toned form now towering over the shivering one.

"Don't… stop…" Allen panted, his silver orbs hazed over with lust.

"Moyashi-"

"Don't tease me," the younger whispered, his body turning, his hips rubbing the growing erection in the elder's pants, "please just… just…"

"Since when are you so lewd, mo-ya-shi?" Kanda teased, his voice deep and husky, his breath against the back of the pale neck, the words making Allen shiver in delight.

"_Ahhh… _just… just make _this_ go away," Allen whimpered.

"I'll tear you in half-"

"Top drawer," the younger moaned, "th-there's always some-_AH_!"

Allen's hands gripped the sheets tight as a tongue forced its way into his quivering hole, the muscle once teasing his mouth now poking and prodding against the walls that contracted around it. His toes tense against the bed sheets, the exorcist tried to bury his cries in the pillow, his hands clutching the white material tightly.

"Kan… da… _ah-hah_," his chest heaved as he panted desperately, "just… just put it in me-_AH-HAH_!"

Again Allen screamed as a hand gripped his erection, the long fingers pulling in agonizingly slow strokes, the teasing nearly driving the young man to madness.

His hips rocked in rhythm to the movements, ignoring how wanton and desperate he looked as he silently begged to be taken by something thicker and fuller, for Kanda to claim him as his own, if only for a night.

"Moyashi…"

Small whimpers slipped through his pale parted lips, as the strong chest rubbed against his back, the body over top of him just as domineering as he dreamed.

"K-Kanda…" Allen panted, "please…"

"It could break you-"

"Then do it," the younger begged, "make me yours."

"Baka," Kanda grinned, his thumb and finger capturing the chin, "you're already mine."

Allen whimpered as his lips were captured, the attempt to ease the passage as the elder entered his wanting body, his brain far too lustful to care for pain.

"_Ah… hah_-AH!"

The lithe body jerked as something filled him, his knuckles white from gripping the sheets. Unneeded for words, Kanda slowly began to thrust into the younger, his movements matched by the hips he snapped into, the grunts unlike the moans Allen released earlier until…

"_AH-OH! Kanda… there-please_!"

Complying with his lover's begging, Kanda adjusted to thrust into the spot that had Allen's mind blanking and white cover his vision. White hair thrown back to touch the strong shoulder, Allen tried to get closer to the source of his pleasure, the strong arm wrapping around his waist aiding in his attempt.

His heightened high and overly sensitive body was only making their devious actions all the more pleasurable, and making his inhibitions severely lowered.

"Kanda!" Allen screamed, uncaring as to who heard him, "please!"

The younger partner's neediness almost seemed impossible to sate, though Kanda moved into him stronger and stronger, his hand pulling the younger's member with strokes in time with his thrusts.

"_AH… hah... uhn_!"

Slick and sweaty bodies rubbed against each other as their mutual pleasure increased to its panicle, Allen's shivering only increasing as he neared.

"K-Kanad… KANDA!"

"Wrong name, Allen…"

The younger shuddered at the breathy tone his name was spoken with, memories of the warmth he felt when Kanda had first spoken his name returning to his chest, his body arching even further into Kanda's as he came hard, his lover filling him with his own essence.

"Y-Yuu…" Allen whispered as his body froze in the aftermath, his form shivering before it collapsed beneath Kanda, his chest heaving and his cheek to the mattress, his silver eyes flickering around to glance at the elder above him.

"A… Allen," Kanda's lips found the back of the neck before kissing the crook of the pale neck to the shoulder, the young man beneath him trying desperately to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry…"

Cobalt eyes rose to look over at the quivering body, Allen unable to find the strength to turn over.

"Kanda…"

"Don't be."

Allen looked up to the other that was still over him on all fours, his face relaxed and his fingers running though the white locks.

"I'm the one who took advantage of you-"

"But I wanted it," Allen interrupted, "I wanted you…"

"And I… yeah..." his shoulders sagged as he sighed, "bakamoyashi… it wasn't like… I didn't want you either…"

"But you hate me-"

"Would I do that to someone I hated," he smirked, his nose lowered to brush over the pale cheek, his lips kissing the mark above Allen's eye, "though, I guess this answers the question as to whether or not _you _hate _me_."

Allen smiled softly as the elder lay down beside him, the covers pulled over bother their weary bodies.

"Poor Johnny's gonna have a heart attack when he can't find us," Allen mumbled as he was lifted up into the strong arms.

"Rather you not talk about another man while in bed with me," Kanda grunted, his nose in the soft downy locks, "by the way. What _did_ make you act like that?"

"Dunno," Allen mumbled sleepily, "I just passed out and then… I dunno... room smelt weird though…"

Wrapped in the warm embrace, the silver eyes fluttered closed as he succumbed to sleep, content in the knowledge that his denied love was returned and ignorant of the young woman lightly touching the incense burner she had planted in Allen's room only to retrieve it before Kanda walked through the door, her smile cheeky as she glanced to the room where they both slept.

* * *

**He He ^^ So? Reviews?**


	4. Retrou vailles

**Ha HA! Next update guys ^^ This is me wishing you guys a very Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and hope you are enjoying Yullen week and that Christmas is good for you.**

**This days theme is Retrou vailles, which is French for the joy of meeting or finding someone after a long separation.**

* * *

Feet pattered along the cobble stone streets, his shopping around his wrist while her hands were concealed from the snow falling slowly around him, flakes disappearing as they touched his pale skin and white hair. Mercury eyes glancing to the sky, his sigh expelled from his lips in a puff of white.

Flipping his collar against the cold, Allen moved against the snow towards his small stone cottage, wishing for the warmth of his home.

"I'm home."

The call was made to an almost empty house, the jingling collar and clicking nails were followed by a soft panting of the golden retriever that came to greet him.

"Hey Tim," Allen grinned as he rubbed over the golden belly, "hey there buddy."

The wagging tail thwacked against the cold pant leg while the animal pressed his side into his Master's legs.

"Good boy," the young man smiled as he patted the floppy ears, his snowy boots pulled off his feet before he moved around the room, his groceries and dinner placed on the countertop.

"Clown! Mugen!"

Allen made soft clicking noises as he called for the twin kittens, his eyes searching for a two balls of fur, one black and one white.

"Where are you two?" he crooned quietly, "come on out guys!"

His silver eyes caught sight of a lazily flicking tail poking out from his small Christmas tree, his law hardening in frustration.

"Clown! Mugen!" the young man chastised, "out out out!"

Disgruntled meows and grumblings emanated from the cats as they were chased from the tree they knew they weren't supposed to be in, their feet pattering across the wooden floor.

"How many times do I need to tell you?" Allen told them, "_don't go in the tree_!"

Both felines meowed in response, their slinky bodies wrapping around his legs as they called for their dinner, their substitute owner sighing in defeat.

"I'm talking to cats," he muttered, "I've officially lost my damn mind."

Three bowls of food were doled out for his and Kanda's pets, the wet and dry cat food mixed while Tim's kibble rattled in his metal bowl.

"Alright," Allen announced to the three animals sitting at his feet, their eyes looking eagerly up at him, "Jerry gave me a special treat for you guys," his hands reached to grab the container of gravy that was still warm, "Merry early Christmas guys!"

Chopsticks dug into his plate of Chinese fast food, his Sweet and Sour pork and noodles not half as appetising as the chicken gravy that covered the pets' food.

"Cheers," the younger called as he raised his glass before he sipped the red wine, his body leaning on the countertop as his sighed deeply.

He was faster than the animals as he finished his meal and moved to the couch, his body lounging with the phone in his hand, his fingers punching in the number he could dial in his sleep. Pulling his knees to his chest, Allen felt his heart hammer in his chest as he listened to the phone ring, his thumbnail in his teeth as he waited to listen to the deep timbre of the other's voice.

"_The number you have dialed is currently not in service, please, check the number and try again."_

A deep sigh echoed if from the expanding chest, throwing the phone to the opposite end of the furniture with his head lolling over the back of the couch as he looked at the world upside-down before a big black nose was shoved into his face.

"Tim! _Yuck_!" Allen squealed as the pink tongue ran over his own nose.

Sitting up and rubbing off the dog saliva, the two cats leapt gracefully up onto his stomach, both competing for his affection by rubbing his chest and meowing.

"Yeah yeah," the young man smiled as he scratched behind the perky ears, his own Golden Retriever trying to shove his nose into the fray. "I've only got two hands!" Allen protested, "I can't pet all of you at once!"

Wagging his tail furiously, Tim ignored the giggling as he tried to move even further forward without putting his paws on the couch as it was against the rule.

"Gimme a minute," he smiled, both cats vocally protesting as his body pulled up off the couch, his fingers flicking on the gas fire before a warm orange glow was cast over the room. "Alright," his hands held the cats under their bellies as he pulled them back into his lap.

The room was filled with the sounds of crackling and popping logs and low purring, the silver eyes to the ceiling, thoughts milling about in his mind.

It wasn't the first time he had called the other and received the message or a dial tone. If Kanda did pick up, it was no more than a five minute conversation, the elder informing him that he was he sighed and told him he'd call at a better time, it was beginning to cut him deeper and deeper. The time zone made it difficult for them to talk and Kanda's avoidance only increased the difficulty and the worry in his heart.

Worry that he meant nothing to Kanda.

Having attended both the same high school and then the same university, they argued about every little thing, the bickering and fighting a constant headache on the both of them, not to mention their friends. Their anger had turned to passion, and their passion had blurred the line between hatred and love. Eventually, Allen couldn't look at the deep cobalt eyes without feeling a shudder slip down his spine, his pale cheeks always flushing a light red after a particularly vivid dream.

He would never have had assumed that Kanda had felt the same, the elder the one to ask Allen in secret, and even in their four months together, the two never made it past quick little pecks and touches.

After his goodbye party, Kanda had arrived at the other's place, he brought his two kittens to Allen's care and to retrieve the key to the place he would stay when he got home. How the young man had been swindled into the deal Allen hadn't a clue, but all thoughts in his mind fell away once he moved to place the key in the extended hand only to have it move to grip his arm, the lithe body pulled into his arms and his lips crushed against the firmer ones.

The rest of the night past too fast for the younger's liking; tongues and hands mixing and mingling and running over smooth skin, pleasure the only thing coursing through the younger's body that night.

A night Allen now regretted.

Hating that he now needed to disturb the sleeping balls of fur that now rested on his chest peacefully and the dog that lay with his stomach to the warm fire, the young man flicking off his fire before he sighed deeply, his body moving over to the sink now filled with dirty dishes.

The morning Allen woke to the elder slipping back into his clothes had been painful, the cobalt eyes catching sight of the waking other. Telling the other softly he would be late for his flight, Kanda slipped quickly out the room and the apartment, his young lover left alone with the two cats, his dog, and his wounded heart.

Was he the only one of them that felt anything for the other?

Allen felt stupid as he started to sob, his arms sunk up to his elbows as he tried to quell his tears.

"C'mon," he muttered to himself, "stop it! This is moronic!"

Every ignored message and brushed off phone call cut him deeper and deeper, the fear that Kanda was bored after finally having him and wasn't coming back like he promised.

It made him feel unwanted.

"Shit," his throat thickened as his tears were still threatening to fall over his pale cheeks, "this sucks!"

Allen missed Kanda terribly; he wanted to feel the strong arms wrap around him again, wanted to bury his nose in the elder's neck and inhale the scent of soba and mint that made him feel warm inside. More importantly, he wanted to hear the deep voice whisper sweet nothings in his ear when there was no one but the two of them curled up on the couch.

"_Mrow_!"

Tearful silver eyes glanced to the white cat on the counter, his nose sniffing around the yet cleaned countertops.

"No Clown, off," the younger sniffed, his hands brushing the cat away, "come on, just listen to me for once… I know your owner doesn't…"

"I'm sorry Moyashi."

The arms enveloping his waist would've terrified him had it not been coupled with the deep voice and the calmness of the animals.

Turning in the arms, Allen's eyes widened at the sight of Kanda around him, the cobalt eyes lifting to meet his.

"Kan… da…?"

"Hey," the elder nodded, "happy Birthday Moyashi," Kanda whispered, an unreadable emotion flickering past the cobalt orbs.

"Kanda…" Allen felt his lower lip quiver as his own arms wrapped around his lover, "Kanda!"

"Miss me?" the elder teased.

"You never freaking _called_!" the other retorted as he squeezed his lover tighter, "wh-why didn't you pick up the phone!?"

"And what would I have said?" the elder tilted his head slightly as he pulled back, his eyes roaming over the pale lips, "yeah, everything's fine, Japan is nice, my residency is going well oh, and, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you."

"Saying _nothing _is worse!" Allen snapped.

"I know," Kanda grumbled, "and I'm sorry."

"B-But… I thought you didn't want me," the younger admitted weakly, "I thought… you-_mmph_!"

Lips silenced his with a swift kiss, Kanda's hands still around the cheeks as Allen remained in shock at the sudden contact.

"K-Kanda-"

"You don't believe that I'm sincere," a teasing smirk played on the other's lips, "so I need to prove it."

Allen squealed quietly as his body was lifted into strong arms, his own around the neck while his legs wrapped around the strong waist.

"Kan-_ah_!"

The crown of white hair tilted back as the lips attacked the creamy flesh of his neck, his fingers gripping the back of the white shirt.

Allen felt his back hit the wall, his head moving in response to the lips against his creamy flesh.

"Kanda…" the younger breathed, his hands moving across the back as fingers ran over his sides, the knot at the front tugged and undone, the white robe slipping to the floor be the doorframe to Allen's bedroom, the lips now pressed against the other's.

His tongue delving into the younger's mouth, Kanda felt his hair tie pull off and the black locks fall over his back and shoulders. His fingers digging into the scalp as they pressed the two of them closer together, Allen's body enjoyed the feeling after half a year of absence.

Their movement to the bed was a haze of colour ending with the younger's back ending on the mattress, his legs still wrapped around the strong waist while his arms were around the shoulders and back.

"_K-Kanda… ah,_" Allen moaned through their quick gasps before lips crashed together, the other's fingers roaming under the navy blue turtleneck and teasing the hem of the younger's pants.

His tongue running over the creamy neck, Kanda managed to pull the sweater up over the pale body, his cobalt eyes looking down at the hazy silver eyes, the cheeks flushed and his hair spilt over the pillow. Soft moans passed the pale lips as fingers roamed his exposed body; kisses were gentle before teeth found the sensitive nipples, the lithe body arching into the source of his pleasure.

"Missed you," Allen heard Kanda whisper quietly, the voice would have gone unnoticed had the younger not been listening for it.

Somehow, both young men managed to strip from their clothes, the darkness swallowing the fabric up while both rolled around in each other's arms.

"Moyashi," Kanda whispered, his fingers slipping towards the younger's entrance.

"K-Kanda… no. Oh _HELL_ no!"

"Oi!"

The elder flinched as Allen's body, which was thoroughly enjoying the touch, now moved away from it.

"_What_!?"

"You are _not _putting those _cold _fingers in _me_!"

"You didn't mind it a moment ago!" Kanda pointed out, "and they're not cold anymore!"

"Still-"

"Well? What do you suggest?" the elder asked exasperatedly, "I am _not _stopping. Not now."

Silver eyes glanced to the elder who's body he had been craving, his body lifting off the mattress to press their lips back together, their arms wrapped around each other. Without a word, the long fingers were taken from the pale chest before Allen took them into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the digits in an attempt to both warm them and make them slick.

Saliva trailed from the lips as Kanda pulled away from the younger, the tongue delving into his mouth wiping off the drool, the pleasure almost making him forget the pain of being stretched, his hips lifting to help ease the passage.

"Moyashi…"

"It's fine," Allen whispered, "really…"

"A minute ago they were cold," Kanda teased softly, his lips pressing to the younger's, "now it's fine?"

The disgruntled look the young man attempted to give his lover was thwarted by the moan he relinquished as his prostate was struck, his head tilting back in pleasure. Shifting his hips, the younger tried to search for the spot as Kanda did with his long fingers.

"_Hah… AH!_"

Kanda felt the body in his arms shiver as he pressed at the prostate, his fingers now deliberately dancing around the sensitive nerve.

"Kanda," Allen whimpered, "please don't…. don't tease me…"

"Just trying not to rip you," Kanda whispered, his lips kissing at the throat while the younger sighed softly.

"Well, you're going too slow."

The younger surprised his lover by pulling off the fingers, his silver eyes remaining glued to the cobalt as he gasped, his hips lowering onto his lover, his body shaking in pleasure. Nails gripping at the strong shoulder, their chests pressed close together, Kanda kept his composure as best he could while he felt the walls surrounding him contract and relax while Allen shivered in delight.

"Kanda," the younger whispered, "f-feels g-good… _hah_… m-missed you…"

The elder pressed his firm lips to the younger, the hands threading through his hair pressing them closer together.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Allen breathed softly, "I just… been awhile…"

"I'll wait," Kanda's lips skimmed the pale collarbone, planting slow and passionate kisses over the flesh.

Slim legs adjusted to lift the lithe form up until he was almost free of the elder, his body hovering for a moment longer before he slammed back down, his lips expelling a sharp grunt.

"Moyashi-"

It was Allen who got to silence the other with a kiss, his arms still tight around the strong shoulders.

"I've missed you," the younger whispered, "so much… and you never called-"

"I was going to say something stupid," Kanda murmured, "and… it was going to make me look…" he shrugged, "I don't know…"

"Stupid?" Allen finished, a cheeky grin on his lips, his white hair shaking, "not to me Yuu… never to me."

Kanda felt his lips pull into a smile as he kissed his lover, Allen beginning to set the pace between them, his body shaking as the elder managed to angle to press the spot that made the silver eyes see nothing but white.

"_AH! Kanda_!"

Hands gripped the slender hips as Allen continued to ride his lover, his chest heaving and his mouth gasping for air, his nails tightening on the muscled flesh.

"_Moyashi_…" Kanda breathed, his arms pressing the expanding chest closer to his own, his face buried in the neck of the younger, his lungs inhaling the scent deeply, hissing at the feeling of nails scrape down his back.

"_Ah… hah…"_

Allen's moaning was delicious to Kanda as he gripped the other's erection, the slim body jerking in response.

"_K-Kanda_!"

"Use my first name, Moyashi."

The breath tickled the fine strands on the younger's ear, his body shuddering in response.

"Only if you use mine," Allen breathed, his teasing smile vanishing in a breathy moan, "_Ah…_"

Both bodies moved in unison in the darkened room, their sweating flesh rubbing against one another as moans and grunts filled the room.

"Cl… close… Y-Yuu…"

"With me," Kanda whispered, "with me, Allen…"

Warmth spread through his chest at the sound of his name, the coil in his stomach tightening as they increased the tempo.

"Y-Yuu -_ah-AH_!"

Their release was in unison, any and all strength Allen had somehow vanishing with it, his body slumping over Kanda's with his head on the shoulder.

"Allen…"

Humming softly, the younger felt his body being adjusted to lie on the soft mattress, his lover's arms still surrounding his weary body as it was draped in the warm sheets.

"Yuu…"

"Sorry about the mess," Kanda commented softly, Allen only just now feeling the sticky substance between his thighs.

"Don't care," he shook his head, "have you…"

Kanda smiled softly as he nestled his nose in the white locks, his eyes gently closing.

"Kanda…"

"Go to sleep, Moyashi," the elder murmured, the body in his arms adjusting weakly.

"But-"

"I'll be here in the morning," Kanda assured him, "just go to sleep."

"Kay…"

* * *

The sun was bright when Kanda stirred, his body stiff and sore from the plane he needed to take to return home, his body still tired from the long day.

"… _hmmm…"_

His head turned to the young man sleeping on his chest, his body pressed close to the source of warmth on the cool Christmas day.

"Kanda…"

Surprised at the words from the younger, Kanda turned to look down at him, his head tilted in confusion.

"Didn't think you were up…"

"Just woke up," he groaned, "did you shut the door?" Allen mumbled against the strong chest, his silver eyes still closed, "I mean, _all_ the way?"

"I was a little too preoccupied," Kanda muttered, "wh-AWAH!"

Golden fur leapt happily to the bed, his tail wagging and tongue lolling as his body tried to roll between them, Allen pushing along with Kanda to get the dog out of the bed.

"Tim OFF!" the younger shouted at the stupidly happy dog, the animal pushing back playfully. "TIM!"

The dog barked happily, before he jumped to the floor, the back paws on the wooden floor while his front were now on the side of the bed.

"Tim, bad dog!" Allen chastised, "bad-GEEZ!"

Both occupants jumped at the feeling of fur against their legs, the accidental kick from Kanda's leg sending the cats hissing and spitting.

"GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT!"

"Relax Moyashi!" Kanda snapped at the now alert Allen, "they're just cats!"

"They're extremely playful and we're both naked," the silver eyes glared at his lover, "I don't want them to go playing with anything under _there_."

Cobalt eyes met his as an understanding came into them.

"Mugen, Clown, out, NOW!"

Both cats meowed in protest as his arm reached under the sheets to swat the felines from their spot, both of them vocalizing their hunger and displeasure.

"_This _is why I shut the door," Allen groaned, "I can get a _few _more minutes of sleep."

"With the barking, scratching, meowing-"

"Hence, _minutes_," the younger mumbled, his body shuffling under the blankets, his eyes peeking open to glance at the sight of his big, excited dog, "al_right _Tim!" Allen announced exasperatedly, "I'll get _up_!"

The golden retriever hopped down to the ground, his body turning around in a circle in excitement as his master shuffled under the covers.

"Kanda… where are my pants?" the younger asked, his eyes searching for his clothes.

"Dunno," Kanda mumbled as he tried to relax back, "I threw them over there somewhere…."

"Over _where_?"

"Over there," the elder gestured to where he thought he had thrown the clothes.

"Kanda…"

"_What_?"

"It's over _there_," Allen groaned to the pile of clothes that the cats were now investigating keenly.

"Well go get it," the other muttered as he rolled over.

"I'm _naked_!" the younger protested.

"_Yeah_, that's how you have _sex_!" Kanda informed him, "besides, they're just pets!"

"But I'm _naked_-"

"They won't gossip to their friends," the elder murmured, "just go _get _it!"

Allen groaned as he conceded, his body moving quickly over to the pile of clothes, his hands shoeing away the cats for his lower half to be clad in the soft material.

"Could you grab me my pants?" Kanda asked, the younger groaning in protest.

"I am _not _your maid," Allen snapped as he moved out of the room, "come on guys! Breakfast!"

Nails clicked on the floor as Tim followed the young man out the door, the two cats preceding him with their tails held high.

Allen ignored the sigh as he moved to the kitchen to fix breakfast, sure that Kanda as most likely jetlagged.

"I thought Christmas was all about generosity."

White hair turned to look at the elder, his dishevelled hair pulled into a low ponytail and the only thing on his body his pair of pants, his eyes glancing down to the cats manoeuvring in between his legs.

"How'd you guys get so big?" Kanda crooned quietly to his cats, Mugen hopping onto his shoulder while Clown ran his back under the fingertips.

"That's what happens in six months," the younger teased as he filled the dishes, "they're still cute though…"

"Right," the deep voice murmured, his body moving over towards the other. "You know," Kanda sighed as he held out the present in the palm in his hand, "I was _trying _to be romantic."

"Well you suck at it," the younger mumbled, as he took the small box from the long fingers, his fingers tugging at the gold ribbon. "Except… maybe now…"

The elder smirked at the widening silver eyes as the case flicked open, the fingers reaching to run over the Kanji in silver letters.

"Oh Kanda…"

"It's _Rakki_," Kanda explained as he lifted the pendant up, the fingers unclasping the lock, "it means _lucky _in Japanese."

Allen said nothing as the necklace slipped around his neck, the fingers reaching to feel the symbols.

"Merry Christmas, and Happy Birthday," the elder whispered as he placed a kiss on the alabaster cheek, "I didn't know what you wanted-"

"You."

Kanda felt the body in his arms turned in the same manner it did last night, Allen resting his head on the strong shoulder.

"The only thing I wanted for Christmas was you, Yuu," Allen whispered, "that's all I've wanted for six months…"

"Baka," Kanda murmured, his lips pressing to the forehead, "you'll always have me."

Allen giggled lightly as he was hugged Kanda tighter only to be interrupted by two cats complaining for their breakfast and a wet black nose that wanted his.

"Ne… Kanda?"

Cobalt eyes turned from his cats to the younger looking at him over the golden back, his hand brushing the fur rhythmically.

"What is it Moyashi?"

"When do you have to go back to Japan?" Allen asked, his face unable to hide his disappointment.

Smirking slightly, Kanda stood slowly, his body moving to take the scarred hand and pull the younger towards the couch, his body lounging on the cushions with the lithe body resting on his.

"Whenever you are," Kanda nuzzled the pale neck, his lips finding the hickeys he made last night.

"But your residency-"

"Is done," the elder told him, "I've got some job interviews here," his fingers running through the white locks, "I'm not leaving you again," his lips kissed the other's, "I'm not going through it again."

"You sure?" Allen teased, "you gotta live with _me_."

"I'll survive," Kanda grinned, "but _you _have to live with _me_."

"I've managed to tame your wild _beasts_," the younger giggled, "I can make it with you too!"

Warmth spread through Allen as he was pressed tighter to his lover, the menagerie of animals only making their house and hearts warmer, especially after their absence of six months.

"Allen…"

Surprised by the sound of his name, the head jerked up to look at Kanda.

"Wh… What…"

Lips pressed against his firmly, the hands around his back adjusting to hold them close.

"I've missed you, Moyashi," he touched their foreheads together, "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah," Allen smiled, "Merry Christmas… Yuu."

* * *

**So? Reviews please ^^**

**Edit: I have also just been informed that it is Kinkylittlewolf's Birthday tomorrow so Happy Birthday hun ^^**


	5. Dream Walker

**So sorry about the lateness guys! Christmas and then my brother got me a new game which is freaking awesome btw, but I've been slaking ^^; **

**I'm so sorry!**

**Anyway, this is supposed to be a substitute for ****Synchronicity. Hope you like it!**

* * *

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!"

Heads of students turned to the shouting man, the slimmer form falling to the ground as he was thrown off from the other's arm, the tall Japanese standing over him with a disgusting scowl on his features.

"I only _touched _you!" the young man that looked up at him screamed, "_relax_!"

"Pardon me for not wanting to be touched by a _freak_!"

Allen Walker flinched at the words, his silver eyes narrowing as he hid his pain behind a mask of anger.

"_Why_ are you in such a foul mood-"

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY!"

Flinching at the strong voice, Allen watched as Kanda Yuu stormed away from him, leaving him to the stares of the passer byers, whisperings about them already spreading. Sighing in defeat, the young man picked his body up off the ground and moved towards the school's cafeteria exit, hoping that their cat fight wasn't in their universities paper by the night.

It wasn't the first fight they had had, but it was certainly the one Kanda was most passionate about. Since the two of them woke up, he had been even colder towards the younger than usual, his scowl now a permanent fixture of his face.

"What did you _do_?"

Silver eyes turned to the flash of red hair that cropped up beside him, the green eyes curious and his body moving to stand beside his friend.

"Not a clue," Allen admitted, "you got an idea Lavi?"

"Not one," his friend announced almost proudly, "but _boy _is he mad!"

"Gee thanks," the scarred hand rubbed over his ribs, "cause the forming bruise I have didn't tell me that!"

"Have you tried asking him-"

"_NO_!" Allen's hand flew to his mouth in mock surprise, "that thought _never _crossed my mind!"

"I didn't so much mean with _words_," the corner of the other's lip curled, "you've always told me, dreams reveal more about people than their actions do…"

"And I'd be an _idiot _to try _that_-"

"Just wear that ghost mask you always do, he won't know! Hell, _I _didn't!"

"But-"

"Well, you got two options," he shrugged, "either pray that he is visited by three ghosts or, and this is much less likely, he forgives you."

* * *

Allen's 'gift' had reared its head when he turned nine years old. Unbeknownst to him, the second his head hit the pillow he had walked into his father's dreams. Confused, he woke up questioning what he thought was _his _dream. His talent would have gone unnoticed until the night of the fire, the nightmare terrifying him as he watched the smoke toying with his father's dreams and causing darkness to stir in the depths.

Though he managed to survive with a few scars, the emotional toll was greater than he anticipated. Not only was he grief-stricken with the loss of his father, the foster home Allen had been placed into was a feeding ground for his gift. After a week of learning his foster sibling's past and having them begin to fear him for appearing in each of their dreams, the young boy began to become sleep deprived, fearful that he would stumble across something he would never want to touch upon.

It was only after Cross took him in did he learn there were other like him, his first night he had gone walking through the other man's dreams he was promptly kicked out. After an ear-boxing from his guardian, Allen was informed if he could not control it, he would be thrown out of his house.

Since then, ten years later, the young man would waltz in an out of dreams, careful to remain out of sight and disguised, only visiting people he knew and being sure to return before they woke; the horror stories from Cross of those trapped forever terrifying him.

His friend Lavi was, save for Cross, the only person who knew about his ability. After a night of the redhead harassing him about his long time crush on the intimidating Kanda Yuu, the younger felt he was due for revenge. Dressed in his white cape hemmed with white fur and a silver mask, Allen snuck into the dream, watching as Lavi was apparently enjoying the comfort of the books he surrounded himself with, his lips smiling in contentment.

Giggling in enjoyment, Allen proceeded to act as the 'ghost of the library', making sounds of hauntings and letting his cape flow out as he ran around the book stacks. Unfortunately, his foot caught in a book before he tumbled to the floor, Lavi squeaking in surprise as his green eyes settled upon the other.

Despite the encouragement that he should use his ability to sneak into teacher's dreams and get the answers or find them dates, Allen hardly used it on other people, worrying that he would be caught.

Especially by Kanda.

True to Lavi's teasing, the younger had fallen for the elder he had grown up living beside. Though they fought constantly and threw punches at every given moment, Allen felt that his attachment had grown into something almost considered love. It was one of the reasons he wouldn't venture into the elder's dreams; he feared discovering that the person he cared for truly despised him.

Until now.

Kanda's attitude was atrocious and, though Allen was racking his brain as to why it was his fault, he could figure the answer. After both Lavi and Lenalee's searches came up fruitless, the younger called him himself, only to receive a message that if he ever showed up around him again, he'd break every bone in his body.

"Alright," he sighed as he lay down on his own pillow, "can't get answers from Kanda himself… so I'll get them my way…"

* * *

Silver eyes flickered around in the dark, desperately trying to make out some sort of scene. He had snuck into the other's dreams before, though he had never entered this one.

Everything was black, though he still had all of his senses. His pants were soaked up to his knees in what felt like cool water which, no matter where and when he moved, even slightly, remained as still as glass. The scent that filled his nostrils was unique, light and fragrant, almost pleasant had a soft sound not reached his ears.

Worry seeped into him as he became aware of how wrong this dream was. There were times he would sneak into the elder's dreams though he vowed he wouldn't, just to watch what Kanda enjoyed, to watch him be at peace. Thanks to his constant meditations, the scenery was often of clear water with beautiful lotuses, Kanda doing nothing but floating along with his eyes closed at peace.

His head turned every which way, his orbs strained for the source of the sound. Water sloshing around his legs, Allen began to move towards the sound before he broke out into a run, his arms pumping as he huffed and panted.

Wanting desperately to call Kanda's name, Allen held his tongue, his heart lifting at the sight of the back turned towards him, the hair shorter than what he was used too and the figure smaller than what he knew.

Slowing as the realization that he was now in Kanda's childhood, the other approached the boy timidly not to startle him, thankful that his mask was concealing his face.

Soft sobs racked through the child's body, his form curled over something not yet in Allen's sight, his curiosity as to what made the stubborn sour other egging him on. The water around him seemed to be silent as he made his way to the young man kneeling, the water surrounding his waist and the arms that he had lowered to the liquid, the child settled amongst beautiful pink lotuses.

His hand lowered to touch the child's shoulder before he froze at what the younger was sobbing over.

The body was still, limp in Kanda's arms as the boy sobbed relentlessly, the lips were parted and his midnight hair flowed from where his crown touched the water, the boy looking to be no older than Kanda now was.

"Hey…"

Though his voice was soft and his body kneeling to the other's level, he still managed to startle Kanda, the cobalt eyes wide as tears flowed from them, his lower lip quivering and his body quivering slightly.

"Hey," Allen repeated quietly, his head tilting slightly in compassion.

"Wh… What are you doing here?" Kanda asked, his voice higher than normal despite his throat thick with sorrow, "you-"

"I don't mean you any harm," the other murmured, watching as the face contorted to anger.

"GET OUT!" the boy suddenly screamed, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT FOREVER!"

"Kanda-"

"SHUT UP AND GET OUT!"

Kanda's child form suddenly broke down in tears, his body crumbling over the form in his arms, his mouth open as he sobbed loudly.

"Why are you here?" he whispered tearfully, "who are you?"

Allen said nothing as he looked over the usually sarcastic and cruel elder now sobbing uncontrollably over his friend's dead body.

"Why are you so upset?"

The cobalt eyes looked up at him in horror, his face contorted into shock.

"M-My f-friend is _dead_!" he cried, "he's _dead_! And it's all my _fault_!"

"Calm down," Allen whispered, his arms pulling the younger into his chest, his hands patting the back gently, the boy surprisingly putting up little resistance as he leaned into him, "shh…" he swallowed thickly, feeling awkward as his elder sobbed openly on his chest. "T-Tell me what happened…"

"Th-The lotus…"

Silver eyes looked around in confusion, the flowers blooming their petals for the two of them.

"Yes, they're very pretty," the elder commented, "what about them?"

"I-I told him I liked it," Kanda sobbed, "and-and he wanted to get me one," he swallowed thickly, "he slipped… he hit his head…" he tried to swallow his tears, "he didn't wake up…"

"But it's not your fault," Allen whispered, his hand patting the black hair, "it's not your fault-"

"HE ONLY WENT CAUSE I SAID I LIKED IT!" the boy suddenly screamed, "IF I HADN'T SAID IT-"

"Yuu."

Tearful cobalt eyes looked up in shock at the young man, his orbs wide.

"H-h-how do you know my name?" he whispered, "wh-who are you-"

"First calm down," the young man murmured, his arms still around the slim form, "okay?"

"B-B-But-"

"This is your dream," Allen thought quickly, "so… _shouldn't _I know your name?"

The logic in the other's mind seemed sound, his tears slowing, his arms relaxing before he pulled his friend back to his chest.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't let him go," Kanda whispered, "i-if I do… he'll be gone forever…"

"He can't be."

Cobalt eyes turned back to the young man, his back still warmed by hand.

"He's here, in your dreams. That means he's in your mind somewhere," his lips pulled into a soft smile, "you don't have to cling onto this idea that everything's your fault. The only thing that you can let go of is that regret, not your friend."

Still Kanda held on tightly, his head lowering to his friend.

"I don't want to forget him," he swallowed thickly, "forget how he made me feel."

"What's his name?" Allen asked, hoping to divert the conversation.

"You're a part of my mind," the boy whispered, "you should know that… shouldn't you?"

"Minds work in mysterious ways," the young man explained with a soft smile.

"It's Alma," Kanda murmured after a moment, "Alma Karma…"

"And now that I know his name," Allen smiled, "I won't let you forget it."

Kanda felt his own lips pull slowly into a smile, his arms trembling slightly as he looked back to his limp friend.

"Figures," he mumbled, "figures I'd dream _Moyashi_ would give me a pep talk…"

Allen froze at his nickname, his eyes looking down to the boy he was hugging.

"Wh…"

"You're warm like him," Kanda pressed on, his shoulders relaxing as his eyelids fluttered, "warm and nice…"

"Think he'd want to hear that?" Allen whispered.

"He would," the other nodded, "but… I can't tell him that…"

"Why not?"

"Cause this is his fault," the boy admitted, "he… he reminds me of Alma," he swallowed as he looked to the body in his arms, "he gave me this nightmare…"

"Not because he wanted too-"

"I know…"

The head turned to look up at the young man, his eyes searching the masked face. Slowly the limp body of Alma started to slip between the water only to be grabbed the arms.

"Kanda-"

"If I take off your mask… and you're not Moyashi," Kanda whispered, "then I've let Alma go… for nothing…"

"Yuu…"

His lungs expanded deeply as he sucked in a breath, his hands shakily reaching up for the mask as his late friend disappeared amongst the lotus blossoms. Remaining as still as he could, Allen's silver eyes closed as the mask was pulled from his face, his orbs opening to reveal the still child-form of Kanda settled by his lap.

"You'd give up Alma… for me?" his head tilted slightly.

"You're a dream," Kanda admitted, almost sadly, "tomorrow night, I could've had Alma back in my arms… but if I did this for real…" he sighed, "_he _wouldn't want to see _me_…"

* * *

Allen moved through the crowds at the library, his feet as silent as the people around him as he searched for the one person he needed.

Kanda's dream had ended with Allen letting him float along the lotuses, the light having returned to the dream as he disappeared, the revelation and knowledge he had acquired still in his mind.

"Hey…"

Cobalt eyes flickered up to the young man approaching him, his face still scowling.

"I thought I told you," Kanda started, "if I saw your face again I'd break every bone in your body-"

"I just wanna talk," Allen murmured as he took a seat across from the elder.

"Don't want to-"

"I'm not going to make you let go for nothing."

The Japanese froze at the words, his eyes staring at his paper before they flickered to the younger.

"I'll visit to you tonight," Allen grinned as he stood, "just… have a nice dream."

Still stunned to his seat, dark eyes watched as the younger slid away from his table; his small silver mask hooked to his belt as he sauntered away with a smirk on his lips.

"A good dream huh?" Kanda felt his own smirk pull on his lips, "if you're going to visit, it just might be."

* * *

**So... how bad? Reviews please ^^**


	6. Yuan Fen

**Fast update ^^ **

**The next theme is the last one!**

**Yuan Fen is Chinese, a relationship by fate or destiny.**

* * *

Those days were easier.

Feet pattered along the stone streets at a blinding pace, the head bowed against the billowing wind and snow as he searched desperately for a place to rest his cold and weary body. Shivering in cold, silver eyes lit up at the sight of the awning water used to cascade off of.

Slipping under it, the young man seemed to crumble beneath the water, his hands digging through his white locks as he tried something to alleviate the pain; feeling as though his head was being split open with an axe.

His night was supposed to be filled with fun and parties having finally turned twenty-one, the headache and memories passing through his eyes unexpected and unwanted.

"Please stop…" he whimpered, "please…"

He remembered great demons floating like weaponized balloons, his fear pushed aside for his determination. Memoires played in his mind of the wars and the great big mechanical arm that shot from his shoulder, weird lights floating up to the sky as his arm cleaved through the layer of metal and gun.

"Stop this…" the young man begged, "for the love of God STOP!"

The most torturous of his minds was not the feeling of wounds and injuries he sustained, the days he spent in recovery, the anxiety he felt as he was sent to different parts of the globe nothing compared to the agony of his love.

He remembered the bloody battlefield, the bodies strewn about it, his lover's amongst them.

Crawling with his stomach torn open, tears poured out of his eyes as he managed to make it to the still body, the cobalt eyes closed gently and the blood stained his torn jacket hung on his weak form, his precious sword thrown well out of his reach, gleaming as it stuck out of the earth like the lotus he favoured.

"Kanda…"

The head managed to turn towards the younger, the cobalt eyes fluttering open to meet his lover's, the fading light making the other's dying heart quiver.

"Baka… Moyashi," he coughed, his fingers reaching to brush over the pale cheek, his thumb wiping away the blood slipping down the chin, "you know… my name… Allen"

"Yuu," tears slipped from the silver eyes as he gritted his teeth through the pain, his body moving to rest atop the other's, "Yuu…"

He thought when they died there on the hill that that was it, that they would be at peace for eternity, perhaps, if Allen could have his heart's desire, together.

Alas, fate was cruel.

It was 1937, and Allen, who had moved to Japan for reasons now lost to him, was plagued with the same memories, fortune seemingly smiling on him as he encountered his lost lover in the bar he visited to try and drown his sorrows in, the Japanese now a military man. His fortune was twisted cruelly when, after their night together, Kanda left for the Second Sino-Japanese war, never to come back. Not that it would have mattered, his ship out of Japan to England sinking before he reached land.

"No more," the younger whimpered, "please no more!"

He screamed as he remembered 1962, the dreams accompanied with water filling his lungs, his fingers reaching fruitlessly to the sun above him, praying that Kanda fared better than he. It was here his gambling skills had been reignited, his nights spent in darkened and dingy halls, playing against bikers and gangsters that would ultimately be his undoing.

Once again, he only briefly encountered his lover, the night dark and park barren save for the two of them, or so Allen thought. Kanda's name had only just slipped from his lips when the gun went off, his chest feeling as though it had been hit with a hammer. Stumbling back into the darkness, his body thudded to the ground, the now familiar feeling of blood slipping around his chest and down his back, his silver eyes to the starry sky.

A sight blocked his vision, the cobalt eyes glancing down to the wounded figure, the weak fingers lifting to brush against his cheeks before they both heard the click of the gun once more.

"AAHHH!"

Had anyone been passing by the bridge they would have turned to stare at him, but he was fortunately alone, suffering in solitude.

"No, no no no no no no no no NO!"

He sobbed as he tried to fight against his memories, of the pain of losing his loved one, year after year, time after time. Every time he had fooled himself into thinking that this time it was real, that it was the last time.

Every time he was wrong.

"No more," Allen whispered, "for God's sake, NO MORE!"

His body was slow as it moved to the railing he had managed to move towards and lean on, his hand pulling his body up. Unlike his last few lives, he hadn't grown strong; he had be saddled with depression and anxiety disorders, making everything too much for him to handle on his bad days. Twice he had been in hospital for suicide attempts, and twice he felt no regret for them.

Tears spilt down the silver eyes as his boot hit the railing of the bridge, his chest heaving slightly as he cried softly.

It would be better if he never met Kanda this time around, it would save him one more heart ache the next time fate decided to be cruel and remind him what he had lost.

"Can't do it," he murmured, hating himself for his weakness, "just… can-"

"OI!"

His head of white refused to turn from the pool of inky blackness that seemed inviting, him hoping that it would suck him into it and pull him to oblivion.

"MOYASHI!"

It was his name that had him moving to look at the approaching figure running at full tilt towards him, his cobalt eyes glued to his form, his long hair streaming behind him and his breath huffing in the cold air.

"K-Kanda…"

His heart was torn with relief and regret, overjoyed by the knowledge that his lover was with him but distraught at the idea that he would need to suffer through yet another nightmare when a car or an accident would take them from each other.

"YUU!"

Words, if he had them, couldn't come out of his lips as he was in shock, his body falling back as his feet slipped out from underneath him.

"NO!"

The scream was unlike anything he had ever heard before, the fall seemed to be in slow motion, the sky he looked up at clouded with darkness, the snow falling with him at his speed.

"Yuu…."

His body struck the water with a splash, the breath leaving his lungs in shock as the water surrounded him. The memories tortured him as he recalled the night the ship sank, though this time, he was the only one falling to his watery grave.

Or, so he thought.

The surface above him broke as a dark body tumbled into the water, his destination seemingly determined as he moved towards the younger, his long fingers extending towards Allen, his cobalt eyes desperate and pleading. His tears mixed with the lake water as the younger reached for his lover, their cold hands clasping together before the strong arms pulled the lithe form into his.

The air was even colder than the water as they both lifted out of the water, their first breath burning their lungs as it hacked out the icy water.

His legs strong, Kanda kicked and swam them over to the bank by the side of the river, the two bodies pulled up onto the rocks, the stones shuffling as Allen's coughing body was laid down.

"Y-Yuu-"

The pale flesh was still numb when the hand struck his cheek. Still stunned and shivering, Allen was pulled into the strong arms and held there.

"You fucking idiot!" Kanda breathed, his arms around his lost lover, "you say you care for everyone but where's your consideration?!"

"Wh-Wh-"

"What would I have done without you!" the elder finally shouted.

Allen felt his heart shudder before his resolve crumble once more, his tears spilling from his eyes as he sobbed, his shivering arms wrapping around the strong shoulders.

"Y-Yuu," he swallowed, "YUU!"

Kanda kept his emotions in check as his shoulder was soaked with tears along with the water he had dove into once the head of white had disappeared into it.

"Moyashi," the elder whispered, "Allen…"

* * *

His bath was warm; his once frozen body now turning a light shade of pink as his body relaxed into the water, his shoulders sagging as he sighed.

Kanda had pulled him from the riverside to a cab, snarling at the cabbie not to make a comment of their saddened clothes and distraught face of the young man with him. Upon arriving in their home, the elder pulled the soaking clothes off the younger's body, and all but threw him into the warm bath.

"Feeling better?"

Red-rimmed eyes turned to look at the elder, his lungs shuddering as he nodded slowly. Moving so as not to startle him, Kanda entered the bathroom, his own body clad in something warm though his hair was still wet and in its usual ponytail.

"Been a long time," Kanda continued, his legs crossing over one another as his long fingers dipped into the hot bathwater.

"Yeah," Allen whispered, struggling to hold his emotions in.

The elder said nothing as his eyes flickered to look at the younger before back to the water.

"Why were you there?"

The young man swallowed thickly as he avoid the cobalt gaze.

"You know…" he managed to whisper, his body shuffling in the water.

"Let me rephrase," Kanda started, "why were you going to jump?"

"Because," tears started to slip from his eyes, "because I couldn't take it…"

"What-"

"I couldn't take it… losing you again…"

The elder sat as the young man sniffled, his head shaking as he told himself that his depression wasn't in control of him, that he was in control of it.

"Every time," Allen cried quietly, "every time, we were separated, just after we met," his lungs shuddered as he inhaled deeply, "I just couldn't do it…"

"Yuan Fen."

The head of white hair turned to look at the elder that sat beside him, his own eyes looking to the floor.

"It's Chinese," Kanda explained, "it's a relationship based on fate or destiny-"

"Then it's destinies fault," Allen interrupted, "we're just destined to remember, meet, and then _die_!"

"Stop it!"

Kanda's hand gripped the other's wrists, the younger sniffling and gasping for his breaths.

"Calm down," he told the other firmly, "we didn't die, not tonight-"

"We didn't in Japan either!" Allen pointed out, "I-I just can't live like that! Every day, just _waiting _for us to part! Just _waiting _and _waiting_-"

"That's what people _do_," Kanda told him, "it happens!"

"And we have to remember it! _All _of it!"

"Moyashi," the elder whispered, "you'd rather give up than try?"

Allen froze at the words, his heart wanting to admit his fault, but the other Allens, the confident and strong ones that were willing to do everything and anything for the ones he cared deeply about, especially Kanda.

"I… I don't know," he admitted weakly, "I-I want you," his hand rose out of the water to brush against the cheek, "but I don't want to suffer like I did… all those times…"

"I won't let you," Kanda told him, "I'm not a military man and you're not gambling and we're _not _fighting anything," his fingers clasped the younger's, "it wasn't like I chose to leave you… I'd never want to do that."

"But… we're going to part-"

"Eventually," the elder nodded, "but not now."

"You don't know that-"

"But I know that we're here now," his lips brush against the younger's, "can't that be enough?"

"No," Allen shook his head, tears slipping down the cheeks, "it'll never be enough."

"I agree," Kanda whispered, "but, if you were supposed to die again, you just broke the chain-"

"Maybe not—"

Lips pressed gently but firmly against his, the saltiness of his tears mixing in the touch.

"Just remember this," the elder told him, "if we part tomorrow, that…" he swallowed thickly, the words seemed hard to come out of his lips, "that I love you…"

Allen was taken aback at the words, the faint blush on the sharp cheekbones telling him he hadn't misheard his lover.

"Wh… What?"

"You always tell me," Kanda murmured, "I never tell you…" he looked up to Allen's silver eyes, "so this time I am."

"Kanda…"

"Bakamoyashi," the elder started to tease, "that's not my name… Allen"

"Sorry, Yuu," Allen managed to smile weakly, "sorry."

"If we're going to stay together, we'll need to use our right names," Kanda murmured.

"You first," the younger grinned, "and get used to it, I'm sticking around."

"Good," Kanda pressed their lips together, "so am I."

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**On another note, I've heard from DeviantArt that it is Starista's birthday so, many birthdays wishes to you!**


	7. Destroyers who Save

**Last update guys ^^**

**Hope you enjoyed this! If Y'all did, I might just try this again next year ;)**

**Enjoy the final installment!**

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Kanda Yuu had destroyed his life.

Running through the day-to-day operations of his life, Allen Walker found his life consumed by thoughts of the tall, dark-haired elder. Memories of the piercing cobalt eyes that made his body shiver when he was under scrutiny flooded though his mind more times than he cared to count.

Constantly, he'd mix up his keys and notes being unable to focus on anything but the feeling elder's fingertips brushing over the back of his hand accidentally. He missed the spelling errors that were consistent throughout his papers as he couldn't think of the history of music theory while he imagined his fingers raking through the waterfall of black locks.

Even when they weren't together, even when they had only just met, Allen's life had been consumed by Kanda. The only difference now was that he had become aware of just how deeply he had fallen.

They had met more than ten years ago, Allen having lived in the apartment complex that his new guardian lived for less than an hour before he ran, literally, into the elder, the young Japanese boy screaming at him to keep his eyes focused, claiming that he nearly pushed him down the stairs from the other's stupidity.

After apologising a hundred different times in a hundred different ways, Allen's patience ended swiftly, his silver eyes narrowing as he began to fight back. At first Kanda was taken aback; apparently, no one of their age bracket had ever defended themselves to the angry nine-year-old. Once regaining himself, the elder began yelling and fighting back, the disturbance the two were making enough to be brought to the attention of their landlord.

Chastised by the landlord _and _their respective guardians, Allen and Kanda were left to serve punishments in their rooms, upon which another discovery was made. Allen's new home and specifically room was now directly below the elder's.

This would result in many night of Kanda stomping above him before he was told to cease form his own guardian, though it didn't stop the two of them from fighting in the halls when they passed. Leaving for school, for the convenience store, or arriving back, if the two met, it was constant fighting, pushing and shoving to get past the other to make it first to wherever they were going.

Their juvenile behaviour slowly ceased as they grew up, aging from children to preteens to teenagers and finally to the young men that they were now, both staying in the complex thanks to its proximity to school, though Allen's was different from Kanda. It did, however, give him the excuse to bother the elder with music, though he couldn't do it for long as it would wind up disrupting the entire floor above and below him.

Now, however, the younger missed the simplest notes he was too busy thinking of how the elder moved up the stairs, his hair swishing down his back as his body moved up the stairs towards his own room after Allen had made it to his, the fighting having dulled lightly as they both aged and the younger's feelings were now aware to him.

His friend that lived three doors down to him, Lavi Bookman, would only serve to stir the pot between the other two, constantly talking to Kanda as though they were close friends, much to the other's distain. It was Lavi that constantly teased Allen for his "crush" on Kanda, something Allen would retort with a resounding no.

Now, he was beginning to doubt his resolve.

Allen had never been interested in women, thinking that he was asexual for the longest time until he became very much aware of how much he watched Kanda, how much faster his heart seemed to beat when the elder was near him, how his stomach tightened when the cobalt eyes looked over at him, how much he wanted Kanda to say one kind thing in his direction.

Thanks to his inability to focus, Allen's life was slowly becoming unravelled. Thanks to Kanda, his life was going to be destroyed.

And now, as he staggered up the tiled steps to his apartment, his head woozy after the crack it had received from slipping and falling on the stairs. Rubbing the forming bump in his white hair, his hands gripped the barrister tightly out of fear of falling off.

"Mm…" mumbles past his lips he tried to clear his head of the dizziness and sleepiness that was threatening to overtake him. "Tired…"

His mind had been too consumed with thoughts of the midterm he did poorly on and thoughts of Kanda that had influenced his mark. He despised himself for sounding like a lovesick fool, for having thoughts of the elder consume and distract him.

He didn't notice the slip until he was falling, and he didn't notice he was falling until his skull cracked into the floor behind him, his lips expelling a squeak of pain as he smacked into the linoleum.

Whimpering, he stood, his fingers running through the white strands as he gripped his injury.

"Oh Moyashi~"

Though it was sung at him and not snapped at him like what Kanda usually did, Allen still turned to look at the approaching elder, Lavi hopping up the stairs like the rabbit that he was likened to.

"Hey," he beamed, his hands following Allen's on the banister, the younger groaning in response, his hand still to his head. "Hey!" Lavi tried once more, panting after his sudden burst of exertion, "you alright?"

"Got a lot of things on my mind," the younger mumbled, his head turning away from the younger, his dizziness almost overtaking him, his knees buckling slightly as he tried to stager up the stairs.

"Allen?"

The green eyes looked at his friend, his nose sniffing as he tried to detect whether or not there was alcohol involved, his worry increasing as he found nothing.

"You okay?"

"Mmm…"

Allen didn't understand what it was with Kanda that made his mind so confused and made him so distracted that his life seemed to deteriorate.

"Allen?"

"Tired…"

"Buddy?" Lavi tried again, "what happened? What's wrong?"

Lavi reached in an attempt to grab the younger as he tried to grab the young man stumbling, his hands still clutching the back of his head.

"Allen!?"

"OI!"

White and red heads turning, both their eyes resting on Kanda's figure as he made his way home from his own classes, his cobalt eyes lifted to look at the two figures near the top of the stairs.

"Kanda…"

"What the hell are you two doing!?" Kanda growled, "you're blocking the staircase!"

"Allen's-um-"

"Moyashi?" the Japanese snapped, "what's going on!?"

Still Allen said nothing as he swayed slightly, his head gripped by his hand tightly.

"Moyashi?"

"He looks like he's gonna be sick-ALLEN!?"

The younger's world darkened as he finally caved, his body tumbling down the stairs.

Though Lavi tried his best to catch the younger as he fell, it was Kanda who's reflexes were faster whom Allen tumbled into, his shoulder hitting the strong chest while arms wrapped around his body, the elder thankfully having his footing as the body crumpled into him.

"ALLEN!?"

"MOYASHI!?"

Silver eyes fluttered open at the sound of the voice, his orbs looking up to the elder.

"Moyashi!?"

"Sleepy," Allen mumbled, "really… sleepy…"

"Oi!"

The orbs fluttered closed despite the words, his body becoming heavier in Kanda's arms.

"Kanda."

Cobalt eyes turned to look up at the other who came down the stairs, his eyes wide in worry.

"Is he-"

"He's not okay," Kanda murmured, his body adjusting to hook under the younger's legs, "get the door," the other told Lavi sternly, the rabbit so dumbfounded he merely nodded as he moved to the apartment, his hands reaching above the door sill for the spare key Cross always hid.

"I'll-I'll go get gramps," Lavi announced as Kanda rested the younger on his couch with care.

Nodding in response, the cobalt eyes looked over the comatose form, the body limp and his eyes closed gently.

"Moyashi?" Kanda whispered, his hand touching the pale cheek, "hey…"

Kanda had never been more thankful that Lavi lived down the hall, the old man bustling in behind the younger, his hand holding his medical kit tightly.

"What happened?" the elder asked gruffly, his eyes looking over the young man.

"I don't know," Lavi explained, "he just sort of… collapsed!"

"Was he acting odd?"

"He seemed paler than usual, and-and like he was drunk," the green eyes flickered to the cobalt, "he was grabbing his head…"

The old man grunted, his hands reaching around to touch and test the younger's skull, the face wincing in pain when he ran over the growing bump.

"It's quite apparent he hit his head," Lavi's grandfather murmured, both Lavi and Kanda exchanging glances.

"Will he be alright?" Lavi pressed, his eyes concerned.

"He needs a hospital to check the severity," the old man diagnosed, "he's probably got a concussion."

"I'll be… fine…"

All three sets of eyes turned to look at the young man, him now stirring on the couch, his body pulling his body up off the couch.

"Stay down," Kanda told him, his hand on the younger's chest.

"No," Allen shook his head, "no hospital…"

"No choice," the elder snapped, his head turning to look at Lavi, "call an ambulance."

"No-"

"Now!"

The younger groaned as his friend did as was told, his hands reaching for the phone to dial the three digits.

"Kanda!" Allen tried to fight him, "you jackass!"

"Lavi-"

"I'll go downstairs and wait for them," the redhead announced, his grandfather following him, leaving Allen to Kanda's mercy.

"Let me up," the younger mumbled, his eyes trying to look determined.

"Only for you to slip and crack your head on the tile floor _again_?" Kanda asked, his eyebrow raised in disbelief, "not on your life!"

"It's my life-"

"Tough shit," the elder snapped while Allen bristled.

"Why do you care!" the younger finally snarled, "you _hate _me!"

"Right, and!?"

"YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!" Allen, in no uncertain terms, screamed at Kanda, the elder taken aback by the retort.

"What the hell are you talking about, baka!" Kanda yelled, "I've done _nothing _to you!"

"You're the reason I can't bloody focus!" the younger snapped, "you're the reason my grades are slipping and I hit my head and-and-"

"Calm down-"

"No!" Allen pressed on, "there isn't a second where I can't _think _about you! It's distracting as hell!"

"Well what am I supposed to do about it!?" Kanda shouted back.

"I don't know!" the younger screamed, "just, not… not be yourself?"

"What!?"

"Rrrg!" Allen growled, "DON'T YOU GET IT!? It's because it's _you _that I can't focus!"

"You said that already-"

"So how long is it going to be before it gets through you're thick head!?"

"Moyashi-"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU BIG DUMB JACKASS!"

Both were silent after the outburst, the younger's chest heaving slightly, his body relaxing on the couch as he groaned, his hands rubbing his head.

He was grateful for the interruption of the knocking door, Kanda managing to find the strength in his body to move towards it, answering the door for the paramedics to come through. Wasting no time, they talked to the younger in a calm manner before whisking him away on a stretcher.

Thanks to his CT and MRI's, Allen was informed that there wasn't any sort of permanent damage to his brain, but they did want to keep him overnight for observation, something the younger actually didn't mind as he never wanted to return home, not when _he _was there.

The night was rough, he not being allowed to sleep for more than a few hours thanks to the uncomfortable hospital bed, his body jostling awake at the slightest sound. He probably didn't need to stay in the hospital, but the doctors were worried since he had fainted and was dizzy.

His morning was bright, though Allen hardly felt rested. Deep grey rings under his eyes proved how ineffective the night had been.

"Mr. Walker?"

His head of white turned to the young nurse, her hands pulling back the drapes.

"How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled as his breakfast was brought in, his hands pulling the tray slowly towards him.

"Are you up for visitors?" she asked politely, smiling when Allen nodded. "You're friend's been waiting," she commented gently, "wanted to wait in the room with you but, well, we don't allow that anymore."

"Oh," Allen murmured, his body relaxing as he waited for Lavi to enter his room, his eyes widening at the sight of the taller Japanese man, his cobalt eyes sporting the same rings his did. "K-Kanda…"

"Morning," he nodded to the younger, "feeling better?"

"Yeah," the younger mumbled, "what are you doing here?"

"Came to talk," Kanda shrugged as he pulled up a chair, "about what you said."

"I'm still in the hospital," Allen pointed out, "could we do this later?"

"Later you're liable to run away," the elder murmured, "so, what did you say?"

"Don't act so stupid," the young man snapped, "you know damn well what I said!"

"Okay, fine," Kanda clearly gritted his teeth, "I know what you said. How long have you felt it?"

"Does it matter?" Allen asked, "awhile-I don't know!"

"Why?"

That question Allen never expected, his head turning to look at the cobalt eyes, his throat swallowing thickly at the intensity of the cobalt eyes.

"I… I don't know," he managed to whisper, "I guess… cause you were the first person not to pity… to treat me like a human being," his throat forced down a lump, "even though you yelled at me, I knew I could trust you," his fingers wrapped around one another, "for the first time since my father died…"

The muscle in Kanda's jaw had tightened at the remark, his eyes watching Allen fidget.

"You saved me…"

"Thought you said I ruined your life," Kanda smirked.

"You do both," Allen admitted, his lips pulling into a soft smile that faded once the elder stood, his hands placed on the mattress and his own lips covering the younger's.

Yes, Kanda Yuu had destroyed his life, but he had also saved it, and for that, Allen was happy.

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